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Thursday, July 27, 2017

Headline From Year 2022: John McCain, Long Dead, Still Voted Back Into Office By Arizona Voters

The 2022 Congressional race in Arizona went handily to deceased Senator John McCain. Despite being dead for over four years, McCain was the overwhelming favorite to win the election which pitted him against Democratic challenger Xir Shanique Mohammad Masahasahputripan. 

Though Masahasahputripan delivered a very popular and inspiring message of killing all the white people and stealing all their money, McCain carried the day thanks to his innovative “virtual platform”. Though apparently run from the grave, it was his alive supporters across the state of Arizona who did the heavy lifting. Through a relentless torrent of inane posts on Twitter and Facebook, they shared his old campaign commericals and championed his message of endless wars and political cronyism. 

But the message that seemed to have resonated most with the voters was McCain’s commitment to “complete the danged fence”–a promise he made during his 2010 campaign that was swiftly forgotten the day after he won that election. 

Despite being a traitor to his country during the Vietnam war, and a venal, principle-less, ill-tempered, war-mongering, pathological liar during his years in government, nothing can seem to sway the loyal Arizonans from perpetually voting “The Great Maverick” back into office–not even his own death and subsequent decay into a gelatinous black blob of maggot-infested carrion.   Read more.....

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