THE LONG AWAITED RELEASE OF A NEW NON-PARTISAN REPORT ON VOTER STATUS HAS REVEALED THAT 99.999 % OF DEAD VOTERS ARE DEMOCRATS. THIS SHORT STATISTIC HAS DEMOCRATIC PUNDITS SPINNING. WITH SOME SAYING BECAUSE LIBERALS WORK MUCH HARDER THAN CONSERVATIVE THEY DIE AT A FASTER RATE AND HENCE THE 99% NUMBERS. REPUBLICANS ARE SCRAMBLING TO FIND A WAY TO GET MORE OF THE DEAD VOTE.
"Mitt Romney Shirt"
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